What the??!!?
Ei, jst on our lunchbreak...what the heck?
I ran out of things to do, so I decided my thoughts get printed...and here I am.
What topic do I intend to start with?
Men. Oh, well. Men.
What do I understand about them. It's difficult to penetrate their very core. Sometimes if you're too sensitive (like me!) you'd probably give up knowing and dealing with them. You'll really feel out-of-place. So deserted. So alone.
To exemplify, I can relate my present situation. I belong to a team of 19 men and 1 woman. Me. No doubt about that. (or is it?)
When on class, it'd be perfectly normal. Same routine, same setting. But when on office breaks, I'd be the wallflower. On my own. Just sittting there, listening 'bout their thing. When I comment or try to open a topic, it would be just as if none spoke. 2 seconds of silence then, back to the normal flow. Perhaps, it's just me. What I am.
Though I grew up being the only girl in a sibling of four, I am the conservative type. (laugh, you may.) I know it would be an overstatement to say that my brows get furrowed if I hear a slight "g*go" word come from their mouth. I'd actually slap them, seconded with a preaching that foul words are unacceptable. Expect disaster when I caught one of them bringing home a porn mag.
So, that's the way it is.
And what humongous irony it was when I came on in my first day of training, I was the only female...
So, it started. The first batch of training was a controlled one and "professional". The guys were kept formal for the length of the week.
Second week came. Trainor was a "relaxed and liberal" one. My version of calvary came. No segment passed without a word or topic of profanity. If only angels were there, they would cry. I'm no angel but I did.
That was my third week, second day. I felt incompetent and so inferior. I cried. Well, I wouldn't if only I hadn't hear one mate remarked. I could not concentrate to the topics that were discussed. When dismissed for a break, I could not help it anymore. Tears flow and kept flowing. I approached trainor and asked for the possibility of quitting. I am firmly decided about that. But he consoled me, telling me there's no reason for crying and I should not feel inferior because others were like this and that... I did stop crying, but that wasn't because of what he said. I just suddenly felt stupid at my crying over the issue at hand.
There'd be days that I'm up and combat-ready. But it's more often that I feel down and peon. Always thinking that they're better and I'm nothing. I don't know how long I'm gonna stay this way, or be this way.
Transition comes next week and I'm still this...Focus.
I ran out of things to do, so I decided my thoughts get printed...and here I am.
What topic do I intend to start with?
Men. Oh, well. Men.
What do I understand about them. It's difficult to penetrate their very core. Sometimes if you're too sensitive (like me!) you'd probably give up knowing and dealing with them. You'll really feel out-of-place. So deserted. So alone.
To exemplify, I can relate my present situation. I belong to a team of 19 men and 1 woman. Me. No doubt about that. (or is it?)
When on class, it'd be perfectly normal. Same routine, same setting. But when on office breaks, I'd be the wallflower. On my own. Just sittting there, listening 'bout their thing. When I comment or try to open a topic, it would be just as if none spoke. 2 seconds of silence then, back to the normal flow. Perhaps, it's just me. What I am.
Though I grew up being the only girl in a sibling of four, I am the conservative type. (laugh, you may.) I know it would be an overstatement to say that my brows get furrowed if I hear a slight "g*go" word come from their mouth. I'd actually slap them, seconded with a preaching that foul words are unacceptable. Expect disaster when I caught one of them bringing home a porn mag.
So, that's the way it is.
And what humongous irony it was when I came on in my first day of training, I was the only female...
So, it started. The first batch of training was a controlled one and "professional". The guys were kept formal for the length of the week.
Second week came. Trainor was a "relaxed and liberal" one. My version of calvary came. No segment passed without a word or topic of profanity. If only angels were there, they would cry. I'm no angel but I did.
That was my third week, second day. I felt incompetent and so inferior. I cried. Well, I wouldn't if only I hadn't hear one mate remarked. I could not concentrate to the topics that were discussed. When dismissed for a break, I could not help it anymore. Tears flow and kept flowing. I approached trainor and asked for the possibility of quitting. I am firmly decided about that. But he consoled me, telling me there's no reason for crying and I should not feel inferior because others were like this and that... I did stop crying, but that wasn't because of what he said. I just suddenly felt stupid at my crying over the issue at hand.
There'd be days that I'm up and combat-ready. But it's more often that I feel down and peon. Always thinking that they're better and I'm nothing. I don't know how long I'm gonna stay this way, or be this way.
Transition comes next week and I'm still this...Focus.
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