Lunchbreak & Loving Oneself
let's see what is to happen to this post...
at the time of this writing, i just used the notepad program to write down anything that runs in my mind...
i'm not sure if i should be blogging or anything. i just think that i need to express myself in words...i have to. otherwise, i'll break down..maybe in tears.
i'm feeling helpless. i feel frail. when a moment ago, i had this zest & enthusiasm..i had my complete 8-hr sleep, yes. but the chain of events that happened changed all this. i just had been ignored from a group and not given much regard, let's say denied truth, when i stroke a conversation.
btw, weng just approached me & asked me if i've taken my lunchbreak...come to think of it, idk. i dont like my judgment of people, at times. whom i choose to be with, is a decision. a decision that i had to retract later...i keep on affirming that no one, no single person is perfect and that you really will find err in others...that's the judgmental me.
i really dont care who i am to go with or judge them really, deliberately. maybe im the kind of person who's into one-to-one relationships. should i accept that i could be somehow not destined to be a people-person?? i'd hate that. cuz i think i can. perhaps i'm just dipped in an environment of strong-charactered people, maybe???
i dont know why i'm writing this at all.
stop. they just finished having their lunch & came back here. i dont know.
i am the one person who strongly believes that every person should have that time allotted to herself only. a private time for herself. a time to think. a time to retaliate. a time to be at peace with oneself. with the Earth and all its elements. with music. with silence.
im with a headphone right now & Lifehouse's "First Time" is playing. it's a compelling, driving music. most of all that part where its doing the drumbeats.
yesterday, before Kevin started our phone bridge conference & remote screen-sharing session, he told me that I'm different. In his words he said that i'm the kind that reveres God. that im no person who just say it with their lips.
of course, this is a praise, if Kevin is sincere. I said "to God be the glory". I dont think I can take that praise. I disagree self-praise. Maybe that's also why i've this low self-worth...i know, that's negative & to survive in this world, forcefulness is the key and being negative is so opposing...but i cant help it. i have to admit my weakness. i dont mean to broadcast this.perhaps i just want to be myself.
funny how many people say they are being true to themselves & then do all these nasty things & make that as an excuse. duh!
i can let that pass if you're on your early juvenile years but we cant be irresponsible forever, lest we will be forming an irresponsible world.
i love pop. i also love classic. i love being preppy. i like anything that makes me comfortable. be that in clothes, group of friends, relationships, life in general.
i've taken these tests where they tell me that my type of personality is the laid-back type. i agree.
in order to survive or to make it in a certain surrounding, you have the option to mingle in or to single out yourself.
i kinda do the latter. cuz i think individualism is more important than socialism.
im not saying that im no social person cuz i can strike up a conversation. baby, just let me be in the mood.
to say that i have mood swings is a dangerous statement, i think.
now to start with where i left off,(cuz i just had my lunchbreak), i'd like to leave a generalized statement.
Depends on where you are, your social status, all that should matter is you. how you were brought up, if you're proud of it, show it.what i think i really mean is, LOVE YOURSELF, above all. again, after REVERING GOD, that is. Love the Creator, Love yourself, Love others.
at the time of this writing, i just used the notepad program to write down anything that runs in my mind...
i'm not sure if i should be blogging or anything. i just think that i need to express myself in words...i have to. otherwise, i'll break down..maybe in tears.
i'm feeling helpless. i feel frail. when a moment ago, i had this zest & enthusiasm..i had my complete 8-hr sleep, yes. but the chain of events that happened changed all this. i just had been ignored from a group and not given much regard, let's say denied truth, when i stroke a conversation.
btw, weng just approached me & asked me if i've taken my lunchbreak...come to think of it, idk. i dont like my judgment of people, at times. whom i choose to be with, is a decision. a decision that i had to retract later...i keep on affirming that no one, no single person is perfect and that you really will find err in others...that's the judgmental me.
i really dont care who i am to go with or judge them really, deliberately. maybe im the kind of person who's into one-to-one relationships. should i accept that i could be somehow not destined to be a people-person?? i'd hate that. cuz i think i can. perhaps i'm just dipped in an environment of strong-charactered people, maybe???
i dont know why i'm writing this at all.
stop. they just finished having their lunch & came back here. i dont know.
i am the one person who strongly believes that every person should have that time allotted to herself only. a private time for herself. a time to think. a time to retaliate. a time to be at peace with oneself. with the Earth and all its elements. with music. with silence.
im with a headphone right now & Lifehouse's "First Time" is playing. it's a compelling, driving music. most of all that part where its doing the drumbeats.
yesterday, before Kevin started our phone bridge conference & remote screen-sharing session, he told me that I'm different. In his words he said that i'm the kind that reveres God. that im no person who just say it with their lips.
of course, this is a praise, if Kevin is sincere. I said "to God be the glory". I dont think I can take that praise. I disagree self-praise. Maybe that's also why i've this low self-worth...i know, that's negative & to survive in this world, forcefulness is the key and being negative is so opposing...but i cant help it. i have to admit my weakness. i dont mean to broadcast this.perhaps i just want to be myself.
funny how many people say they are being true to themselves & then do all these nasty things & make that as an excuse. duh!
i can let that pass if you're on your early juvenile years but we cant be irresponsible forever, lest we will be forming an irresponsible world.
i love pop. i also love classic. i love being preppy. i like anything that makes me comfortable. be that in clothes, group of friends, relationships, life in general.
i've taken these tests where they tell me that my type of personality is the laid-back type. i agree.
in order to survive or to make it in a certain surrounding, you have the option to mingle in or to single out yourself.
i kinda do the latter. cuz i think individualism is more important than socialism.
im not saying that im no social person cuz i can strike up a conversation. baby, just let me be in the mood.
to say that i have mood swings is a dangerous statement, i think.
now to start with where i left off,(cuz i just had my lunchbreak), i'd like to leave a generalized statement.
Depends on where you are, your social status, all that should matter is you. how you were brought up, if you're proud of it, show it.what i think i really mean is, LOVE YOURSELF, above all. again, after REVERING GOD, that is. Love the Creator, Love yourself, Love others.
Comments